


to all the boys i've hated before

by KittyKathryn



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - To All the Boys I've Loved Before, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Let Andrew Emote 2k18, M/M, basically andrew is lara jean and neil is peter, because why not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-03 14:10:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15820482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyKathryn/pseuds/KittyKathryn
Summary: Andrew's therapist, Bee, suggests he write letters to anything that causes him to feel strong emotions.Andrew has loved three boys in his life and written letters to each.Nicky just wants Andrew to be happy.Neil Josten gets wrapped up in it all.---To All the Boys I've Loved Before AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hi hi!  
> I couldn't stop thinking about this, and I love writing things were Andrew expresses his emotions. I'm keeping this mainly fluffy, so I don't think any archive warnings apply, but let me know if anyone thinks I should add any.  
> Alsoo, I will say that I didn't stay exact to the plot of the movie/book. I changed some things around to make more sense to the characters, and there will probably be entirely new scenes.  
> Enough of that; enjoy the Andreil fluff!

Andrew Minyard wasn’t the best at expressing his emotions. He’d rather bottle them all up and throw them into the sea. However, life didn’t really work that way. No matter how much Andrew wished he could be an unemotional robot, he felt everything intensely. His therapist, Bee, had told him again and again how unhealthy it was to ignore everything he felt. And thus, the idea of the letters emerged. Bee encouraged Andrew to write letters whenever he felt like he had too many emotions to handle, addressing them to whatever was causing those emotions. When he broke his arm, he wrote an angry letter to the roof. When he failed English, he wrote a letter to the education system of America. And when he fell in love with a boy, Andrew wrote him a letter.

There were only three boys Andrew had ever written letters for. 

Kevin Day was the first. He was tall and handsome, and they played exy together at age twelve. Day got mouthy and exy got boring, and Andrew quickly moved on. He was Andrew’s first real crush, however, and the letter Andrew had written for him was absolutely nauseating. 

Second was Neil Josten, Andrew’s first kiss at a middle school party during spin the bottle. The kiss wasn’t anything to write home about, but, considering Andrew wrote Neil a letter, he clearly didn’t think so at the time. Even years later, Andrew could admit that Neil was attractive. His vibrant blue eyes and red hair was enough to catch eyes from across the room. But the kid was clearly a liar, and Andrew didn’t have time for that kind of trouble. Not to mention that Josten had never shown interest in another person, woman or man. 

Last was Roland. Things had come out of Andrew’s attraction to Roland, but they were short lived and emotionless. Roland had a boyfriend now, and Andrew was over him, or so he had told Roland. He wrote the letter in the midst of their “relationship”, but it was over and done with now.

The letters were harmless. They were only for Andrew to see, hidden in a box in the closet (like his sexuality). They were just a stupid coping mechanism. It wasn’t like they would ever be sent out. 

 

Nicky knew about the letters. Andrew may have thought he was subtle, but he always forgot to close his door when he was lost in writing. Nicky didn’t consider himself to be a nosy person in general, but he was worried about his cousin. For all he knew, the letters could be suicide notes… okay, that’s a bit dramatic, but Nicky truly was worried. Andrew was a lonely kid. The only person he hung around was Renee, and as much as Nicky wished she was his girlfriend, it was clear Andrew had no interest in her.

So Nicky looked through the letters.

He didn’t know what he was expecting, but love letters sure weren't it. Nicky was partially shocked and partially ecstatic. He thought about all the possibilities; if Andrew had a boyfriend, maybe he would be happier. And that’s all Nicky really wanted for his cousin. 

So perhaps Nicky took the letters out of the closet. 

And perhaps he mailed them. 

They were fully addressed, after all, so why not?

What was the worst that could happen?

 

Something felt off to Andrew. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something awful was going to happen. He told as much to Renee, his best and only friend. 

“I’m sure everything’s alright, Andrew,” she reassured him, because of course she did. Renee was nothing but reassuring. They made an odd pair, the two of them. Andrew wore all black, smoked behind the bleachers, and scared away everyone with one glance. Renee was a born again Christian with pastel hair and a cross around her neck. No one was scared of Renee, although Andrew knew firsthand that they should be. The girl had a skill with knives. 

The two were in gym class, running laps, much to Andrew’s chagrin. He hated running. He would rather be eating ice cream. Andrew was about to respond to Renee when he heard, “Hey, Minyard, wait up!”

That voice was nothing but trouble, and the feeling of unease in the pit of Andrew’s stomach only grew. When Neil Josten caught up to them, sweaty and dressed in his exy gear, Andrew and Renee glanced at each other. Renee knew about the letters, because she was the person he trusted most, second only to Bee. 

“Hey, Renee, could I talk to Andrew alone?” Neil was out of breath, his blue eyes bright, and Andrew felt the urge to scowl. 

Renee looked to Andrew for permission, and when he nodded shortly, she jogged away. 

“What do you want, Josten?”

Andrew couldn’t look at him. His hair was blinding. 

“Listen, Andrew, I’m honestly really flattered, but you have to know it’s not going to happen.”

Interesting. 

Andrew stopped short, finally turning to Neil. “What the hell are you talking about?” 

Neil had his hand on the back of his neck, and he looked horribly uncomfortable. “It’s nothing personal, and it’s not because you’re a guy. It’s just… I don’t really feel that way about anyone? At least I haven’t yet… That’s not to say I won’t in the future or-” 

Andrew cut off the rambling. “Stop the confession about your sexuality, Josten, and tell me what the fuck you’re talking about.” His heart was racing. 

“Um,” Josten stuttered. “The letter. I’m talking about the letter you sent me.” 

Andrew finally looked down, and, sure enough, in Josten’s hand was a letter with “Neil” written in loopy lettering across the front. 

“No.” It was all Andrew could seem to get out. “No, no, no.” 

“Honestly, I thought it was really brave of you to send it, Andrew, and, sure, we shared a moment at that party, but it was in eighth grade-” 

“Shut the hell up,” Andrew snapped, turning around and looking around. His mind was racing, trying to figure out if this was just a nightmare. His heart felt like it was about to pump out of his chest, and before he knew it, he was on the ground, opening his eyes to see the blue of the sky. Or, no, that wasn’t the sky, the blue was from Neil’s eyes. 

“Andrew?”

Andrew shot up, shoving Neil. “Get away from me,” he growled. 

“Are you okay?” Neil went on muttering about getting him to the nurse, but Andrew was more distracted by the figure walking towards him: Roland. His expression was one of pure confusion, and Andrew imagined the discussion they would have. Roland would think Andrew wasn’t over him and was jealous of his boyfriend. Andrew couldn’t have that. He was never jealous. He didn’t pine after people. He let them go.

“Oh, fuck no.” Andrew turned to Neil. “Yes or no?”

Neil’s eyebrows furrowed together. “Yes?” 

It was all he needed. He shoved Neil onto his back, rolling on top. He wasn’t rough, giving Neil enough time and space to move away if he wished. Although Neil was clearly confused, he wasn’t pushing away, so Andrew put his hands on Neil’s cheeks and kissed him. 

Neil made a startled noise, but his body quickly relaxed. Andrew played it out for longer than necessary, making sure the point struck home to Roland that Andrew had completely moved on. It almost seemed like Neil kissed back, hesitantly moving closer to Andrew. Neil was so close, his scent intoxicating. When Andrew felt a hand clutch at his sleeve, he pulled back. 

Neil’s eyes opened slowly, his cheeks a red to match his hair. Andrew suddenly became distinctly aware of the fact that he was straddling Neil, and he rolled off as gracefully as possible. “Thanks,” he muttered. With a glance at Roland, standing stock still and shocked, Andrew sprinted away, determined to get as far from the scene as possible. 

Holy shit. 

He kissed Neil Josten. 

Roland thought Andrew wasn’t over him. 

So… did that mean that Kevin got a letter too?

 

He didn’t have to wait long for that to be answered. He was about to step into his car when a deep voice called out, “Hey, Minyard!” 

Andrew rolled his eyes. “Day, shut up.”

Kevin stopped beside him. “Sorry, Andrew, but… you know I’m straight, right?” 

“Day, I haven’t had a thing for you since I was twelve.” 

“Oh.” Kevin almost sounded disappointed. 

Good. 

Andrew dropped into the front seat, speeding out of the lot and leaving Kevin in the dust. 

It had been an eventful day for Andrew. All three of the boys Andrew had ever loved were now fully aware of that fact. Andrew had gone from being the most emotionally detached person at the school to the creepiest. Who the fuck wrote love letters in 2018? 

Only one question stuck out to him at the moment, though. How did the letters get mailed? At least that was easy to answer.

Nicky was going to regret the day he came into the world.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A threat and a proposition at Sweetie's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo I only just posted chapter one but it got great feedback so here's chapter two!   
> I'm really really enjoying playing with the dynamics of the characters in this AU, and I'm so happy that others are finding some enjoyment from it too.   
> The next update will probably come some time tomorrow, so keep your eyes open for that, and thanks for reading!

Hours later, after an emergency call to Bee, Andrew walked into Sweetie’s, the local diner that his cousin worked at, letting the door slam shut behind him. “Nicky Hemmick!” he shouted.

Nicky stood behind the counter, and his head shot up at the sound of his name. He grimaced at the glare he was met with. There seemed to only be a few regulars there, and since they knew Andrew, they minded their own business. No one talked to Andrew when he was angry. 

“Andrew, let’s talk about this,” Nicky said quietly, his eyes pleading. 

“Listen here, dumbass,” Andrew growled, reaching across the counter to grab Nicky’s collar. “I’m going to do the talking. You’re going to stand here quietly and think about what you’ve done. You had no right to go through my stuff, Nicky. If you want me to keep trusting you, then you’ll leave my shit alone. What, did you hope I’d get a boyfriend out of this or some shit? Well, now I’m the fucking laughing stock of Palmetto High School. So, thanks for that, Nicky.” He pushed Nicky away, watching him stumble. “How about I don’t gut you right here, right now, and in return you give me as much free ice cream as my little heart desires.” He shooed him away. 

When Nicky stumbled in the back to get an ice cream sundae, Andrew deflated, falling into one of the seats at the bar. He held his head in his hands. His anger was beginning to turn into an emotion resembling regret, but Andrew didn’t regret anything. And what did he have to regret, anyways? Writing the letters? Sure, it was a stupid pastime, but he knew it had helped him deal with his emotions. Maybe he wished he hadn’t kissed Neil. Neil did say yes, but he didn’t know what he was agreeing to. Was that really consent? 

“Well… That was interesting.” 

Andrew’s head whipped to his right, meeting bright blue eyes and a small smile. 

Speaking of trouble. 

Andrew looked straight ahead. It was like staring at the sun. “What the fuck do you want, Josten? Here to make fun of silly Andrew who writes love letters like a little girl?” 

“What, I’m not allowed to talk to someone after they make out with me during gym class?” Andrew could hear the laughter in his voice. 

“Don’t make that about you. I had to make sure someone else knew I didn’t like them.”

“Oh? Why would they think you like them?” Neil asked. “Wait! Did you write more than one letter?” 

At Andrew’s silence, Neil gasped. “Oh my god, you did. And to think, you said my eyes were the prettiest you’d ever seen.” 

Andrew bared his teeth at Neil. “Shut up.” 

Neil was openly laughing at him at this point. “Who else got a letter?”

When Neil didn’t react to Andrew’s glare, he said, “Roland got one.” When Neil stayed silent, Andrew sighed. “Kevin got the last one.” 

Andrew didn’t think Neil’s eyes could get so wide. “You like Kevin Day? He’s like the straightest guy I’ve ever met!” Neil whisper-yelled. 

“Do you not understand what ‘shut the hell up’ means?” Andrew growled. “I liked him when I was twelve years old, okay. It’s not like I wrote it a year ago.”

Neil hummed. “Okay. So, back to why you kissed me. Was it because of Roland or Kevin?” 

Andrew grit out, “Roland.” 

“Aren’t you guys dating?”

“First off, it was an arrangement. Second off, why the hell would you think that?” 

Neil cocked his head. “Um, it’s sorta common knowledge? Did you really think you guys could disappear to the bathroom together every day during English class and no one would notice?”

Maybe that was why Andrew failed English. 

“Well, Roland has a boyfriend now, but it’s not me. That’s why I had to kiss you. He can’t think I’m still into him. I’m not desperate.” 

“Right.” Neil didn’t sound convinced. “So what are you gonna do about it?” 

“I don’t know,” Andrew groaned. 

“What don’t you know?” Nicky asked, placing a bowl of ice cream the size of his head in front of Andrew. His eyes flickered to Neil. “Who’s this?” 

Neil grinned and stuck out his hand, looking like the star striker on the exy team that he was. “Neil Josten, at your service.” 

Andrew actually feared Nicky was having a stroke with how much his eyes bulged. “No way.” 

“You know me?” 

Before Nicky could ruin anything else, Andrew said. “This is the idiot who mailed out my letters. And he’s going to leave us alone, right, dumbass?” 

Nicky looked like he wanted to protest, but he simply nodded and said, “This idiot will just get back to work, then.” 

When they were alone again, Andrew dove into his ice cream. Neil cleared his throat and shifted in the seat, clearly preparing to say something. 

“I have a proposition for you.” Neil’s voice was serious.

Well, that’s interesting.

Andrew looked up with the spoon halfway to his mouth. “Which is?”

“You kissed me to show Roland that you’ve moved on. So… why don’t we just keep up the act? Pretend to be my boyfriend.” 

There must have been something in Andrew’s ice cream. Neil Josten definitely didn’t just suggest they be boyfriends, pretend or not. 

Andrew stopped to swallow a spoonful of ice cream. He licked the sugar from his lips, and was he imagining that Neil followed the movement with his eyes? “What do you get out of this?” 

Neil sighed. “People keep hitting on me.”

Andrew snorted. “Yes, it must be so hard to be hot.” 

A red flush appeared on Neil’s cheeks. “It’s hard to be hit on when I don’t actually like anyone that way. And my friends aren’t helping. They all thought I was crazy when I turned down the captain of the cheer team. It’d be easier to have an excuse that people actually understand.” 

Andrew arched an eyebrow. “So you’re okay with the entire school thinking you’re gay?”

“It’s easier for them to comprehend than being ace.” 

“That’s fair.”

Neil looked hopeful. “So is that a yes?”

“That’s a ‘get out of my sight and I’ll think about it’.”

Neil grinned and got up. “Thanks, Drew. Let me know.” 

Andrew was in shock. 

How dare he.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An agreement and a contract.

The next day of school was hell. Roland was waiting for Andrew at his locker, so Andrew decided he didn’t need his calc textbook anyways. Then Roland waited for him outside of their English class, so Andrew decided it was a great time to spend the entirety of passing time asking his teacher how he could pass the class. He had succeeded thus far at ignoring Roland, but who knew how long he could keep it up. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about what Neil suggested. 

He had to admit, it was a good idea. Andrew had an excuse for Roland, and he got to pretend to be dating one of the hottest guys in school. But Andrew dreaded the idea of saying yes to Neil and seeing the smug smile that was sure to be on his stupid face. 

The final bell eventually went off, bringing an end to a stressful day. As Andrew walked out of the stairwell and to the commons, he spotted someone standing at his locker again. Although, this time it was Roland’s boyfriend. He wasn’t important enough for Andrew to know his name. It was something like Jack or John. Andrew couldn’t care less. 

However, no way in hell was Andrew going to his locker. 

It was Andrew’s lucky day it seemed, since Jack-John spotted him and started heading straight for him. 

Andrew would have sprinted if it wouldn’t have looked like he actually put effort into something. But Andrew’s whole thing was being an uncaring piece of shit. It was who he was. 

Instead, Andrew very quickly, but not fast enough to draw attention, walked out of the building and went straight for the exy court, where practice was just beginning. Neil’s vibrant hair differentiated him from the other players, and Andrew headed straight for him. He was bent over in a stretch, and Andrew had to yank his eyes away from the way his shirt rode up. 

“Josten!” he shouted. 

Neil’s head popped up, his eyebrows furrowed in a way that was absolutely not adorable. 

“Let’s do this,” Andrew said, stopped a couple feet away from Neil. 

Neil’s lips quirked up, his blue eyes shining mischievously. “Yes or no?”

Andrew glanced around at all the eyes currently on him. He grimaced when he saw his brother and Kevin talking to one another and eyeing him. “Yes,” he finally bit out. 

Neil leaned forward slowly, his hands going to Andrew’s waist. They met in the middle, and it was far better than when Andrew had jumped Neil the day before. 

Andrew’s brain was short-circuiting. He was kissing Neil fucking Josten. Who would’ve thought that the star exy player would be making out with the residential emo kid on Palmetto’s exy court. 

When Andrew pulled away, they blinked at each other slowly. He extracted himself from Neil’s arms. “Carry on,” he said, waltzing off the court and leaving Neil flushed and grinning. 

He may have had a slight problem.

\----

After Neil had finished with exy practice, the two met up at Sweetie’s once again. Andrew was ardently ignoring every look Nicky sent his way. 

“So what are we doing here?” 

Andrew fixed Neil with a bored glare. “We’re deciding on the terms of our agreement.”

Neil raised an eyebrow. “Christ, what are you, a lawyer?” 

“I like being upfront, Neil. We’re not going further with this until we both know what we expect from one another.”  
Neil sighed. “Alright. Where do we start?” 

Andrew pulled out a sheet of paper from his notebook, scribbling a bullet point on the left-hand side. “First off, no more kissing.”

“What? Why?” Neil seemed surprised. 

“Because I said so, Neil. It’s not up for debate.” Andrew didn’t mention that if he kept kissing Neil, it would be hard for him to keep it casual. Andrew was only human. There was only so much kissing he could do with an attractive boy before it turned into something else. 

“Fine,” Neil gave in. “But we still have to convince people we’re dating. How are we going to do that?”

“Are you okay with me touching you?” Andrew asked. 

Neil hesitated. “I guess.”

“That doesn’t sound very confident.”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, Andrew, that’s okay.” 

Andrew wrote down on the paper “no kissing, but other PDA is allowed”. At least Andrew wouldn’t have to keep his hands off of Neil. He’d just have to be sure to distance himself emotionally from it. It was just an act. 

“What if,” Neil started. “You text me every day right before exy practice starts.”

“Why?” Andrew asked, tone flat. 

A slight blush appeared on Neil’s fair cheeks. “I told you my teammates are awful when it comes to me dating. No one texts me. If I suddenly start getting texts from a cute boy everyday, they won’t be able to shut up about it.” 

Andrew absolutely was not latching onto the fact that Neil called him cute. 

He added “Andrew texts Neil” to the list. 

“I’ll drive you to school everyday,” Andrew said. When Neil nodded, he added it to the list. 

“Um, also, do you think you could come to my exy games?” Neil quietly asked. 

“For fuck’s sake, Josten.” Andrew rolled his eyes. 

“Again, my teammates…” He trailed off. 

“Fine, junkie,” he muttered, adding “stickball games” to the list. “Lastly, we tell no one the truth. If it gets out that I’m fake dating Neil Josten, I’ll be the laughing stock of the school.”

“Agreed.” 

Andrew signed his name and passed it to Neil to do the same. Neil snorted but did as asked. 

“Pleasure doing business with you, Josten.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the comments, guys! I'm so glad to see that so many people are into this. I'm not planning on this story being too long, and I'm hoping to finish it before I go back to school. Updates should be daily unless something comes up!
> 
> I'm gonna segue into some self promo here lol. If you wanna see my posts about cats and Andreil, follow my tumblr [here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/risksofreading)  
> Also, I have a playlist on spotify inspired by Andreil that I add to frequently and listen to when I write anything aftg related. Check it out if you're intrigued [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/kdaffer-us/playlist/503iSWTuuT9kuMkexjdrwR?si=SQ06jeJvScWED5sGF9rKUA)
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> xoxo  
> Kathryn


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Palmetto meets the latest couple.  
> Andrew meets the exy team.  
> Neil charms Nicky.  
> Andrew goes to a party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second update of the day!  
> So, I work most of tomorrow and I'm not confident I'll get out an update, so I decided to double update today. Aaaand it's the longest chapter I've posted thus far. Honestly, I love this chapter. It's probably my favorite. I was grinning the entire time I wrote it. These boys are just so s o f t.  
> Enjoy!

Walking into Palmetto High School’s cafeteria as openly gay and dating a star athlete was a new experience for Andrew, and he couldn’t say he liked it. What he did like, however, was how it felt to have his hand resting in Neil’s back pocket. 

They’d already had a couple obviously queer girls come up to them to tell them how “brave” they were. Andrew answered with a scowl, but Neil grinned and thanked them. He still couldn’t understand how people believed the two of them were dating. 

Andrew also got to meet Neil’s teammates. Obviously he already knew Kevin, Aaron, and Renee, but there were plenty more he wished he never had to actually meet. 

Dan Wilds was the captain of the exy team, Andrew learned. She was rather headstrong, and Andrew respected it about her, but like hell he was going to tell her that. She watched Andrew with mistrust in her eyes, and when she saw where Andrew had his hand, she turned with wide eyes to her boyfriend. 

Dan’s boyfriend was the one and only Matt Boyd, but with how much the kid clearly loved Neil, he felt they would make a better couple. When Neil had turned away to ask Kevin something about exy(of course), Matt had looked Andrew dead in the eye and whispered, “If you hurt my son, you will regret it.” If he hadn’t said it with such a serious tone, Andrew would’ve laughed in his face.

Instead, Andrew just looked at him with apathy and said, “I think Neil can handle me just fine.” 

The only other upperclassman on the team was Allison Reynolds, who was dating Seth Gordon, a junkie who had graduated the year prior. From what Andrew could hear, the two were constantly arguing. Allison didn’t like Andrew. That much was obvious. But it wasn’t as if he cared. Their agreement wasn’t to make Neil’s friends like Andrew, it was to convince them that Neil was taken. 

And Andrew was joyfully keeping his promise. While Neil spoke to his team about the lineup for their next game, Andrew intertwined their fingers on the table, for everyone to see. Aaron was staring at him with a look of disgust, but considering he was doing the same with the cheerleader sitting beside him, he couldn’t say anything without being a hypocrite. 

Neil squeezed Andrew’s hand without breaking his conversation, and Andrew puzzled over what the private action meant. ‘Good job’? ‘That’s too much’? Andrew wasn’t used to being so horribly confused by someone until Neil waltzed into his life. 

Andrew felt Roland’s eyes on him, but thankfully he never made a move to come over. Neil seemed to be keeping his promise as well. 

The conversation at the table had fizzled out and Dan eventually said, “So… Andrew. You’re Nicky Hemmick’s cousin, yeah?” 

“Yes,” Andrew said shortly. 

“The two of us used to play exy together, did you know? I was a freshman when he was a senior, and we were both on varsity.” Dan sounded like making conversation with Andrew physically pained her. 

Andrew stared at her when she stopped talking. “Okay.” 

Neil huffed, “Really, babe?” as he elbowed Andrew. To Dan he said, “Sorry. Andrew’s not the greatest at social interaction.”

Andrew narrowed his eyes at Neil. “Rude.” 

Neil grinned, leaning forward tauntingly. “You love it.” 

He did. But he didn’t want Neil to know that. 

“Gross,” Dan said. “You guys are worse than me and Matt.”

Funny, Andrew thought, since, as far as he knew, Matt and Dan weren’t pretend dating. Neil was a better actor than Andrew predicted. 

\---

Nicky was off that night, baking cupcakes. He always baked when he especially missed Erik. The two had met when Erik was an exchange student in their senior year. They had plans to marry soon, but Erik was finishing up school in Germany first. 

Andrew was currently sitting at the counter, dipping a finger into the cupcake batter whenever Nicky wasn’t paying attention. 

The doorbell rang, and when Nicky turned to him, he shouted, “Aaron has it!” 

“You’re the fucking worst!” Aaron called from the living room, but Andrew grinned when he heard the front door open. The grin promptly disappeared when Aaron shouted, “Ugh, Andrew, your boyfriend is here.” 

Nicky’s head shot up faster than Andrew thought physically possible. “Boyfriend?” he hissed. When Neil walked into the kitchen, Andrew was actually worried that Nicky would pass out. “Neil Josten!” he shrieked. 

Neil took the scream as best as one could, with a bright grin and his hand out to shake Nicky’s. “You’re Nicky, right?”

Nicky squeaked out a meek “yes”. 

“I hope you don’t mind, Nicky, but I’m here to bring Andrew to a party tonight.”

“Actually,” Andrew cut in. “I’m afraid I’m a little busy helping Nicky with these cupcakes tonight. Soooo sorry.”

Nicky’s eyes were wide, switching between the two of them. 

“Nicky,” Neil said sweetly. “You’ll be fine on your own, right?”

“Oh, yeah, totally. Go ahead, Andrew. You should be young and having fun with your-” He stuttered. “Your… boyfriend?” 

Damn Neil and his charming smile. 

“Fine,” Andrew said, rolling his eyes. “Just let me change. Unlike you,” he said as he eyed Neil’s joggers and white t-shirt. “I actually care about my appearance.” That wasn’t to say Neil didn’t look good, though. He sort of looked good in everything, even the bright orange exy jersey that horribly clashed with his hair. 

Andrew really had to stop having these stupid thoughts. 

\---

The party was at Allison Reynolds’ house, so evidently it was humongous. The two of them stopped in the entryway, and Neil said, “Can I get a picture of you? I should change my phone wallpaper. You know, to make it more believable.” 

Andrew nodded, taking out his phone to do the same. He heard the sound of a picture being taken, and he glanced up from his phone to glare at Neil. The camera clicked again, and Neil seemed satisfied. Andrew pulled up his camera, zooming in on Neil’s face. “Smile, junkie,” he said. 

The picture was of Neil grinning and staring at Andrew. It was horrible. Not adorable. Not at all. Neil flashed his phone screen to Andrew, and he was a little disgusted by the picture. It was Andrew, swallowed up by his denim jacket and glaring at the camera like it was his worst enemy. But there was definitely something in his eyes that Andrew didn’t think he’d ever seen before. He didn’t have a name for it. 

Andrew pushed the phone away and grabbed Neil’s wrist, dragging him towards the party. Matt immediately bounded over to them. He froze when he noticed Andrew, but he quickly recovered, throwing a grin Neil’s way. 

“I’m so glad you’re here, buddy! Hey, come get drinks with me?” 

Neil’s eyes flickered to Andrew, but he nodded at him. “Kevin keeps looking at me, so I’ll go see what the fuck he wants. Get me a drink.”

Sure enough, as soon as he was alone, Kevin came over. “Hey, Minyard,” he said awkwardly. 

“Spit it out, Kevin. What’s got your panties in a twist?” 

Kevin made a face at that. “I want to talk about Neil.”

“Don’t we all?”

He made the face again. “Not like that. I’m straight.”

“Yeah, you’ve mentioned a couple times,” Andrew said, rolling his eyes. 

Kevin glared at him. “Listen, I’m not homophobic or something, but I don’t like this relationship between you two. Neil needs to focus on exy, not romance.” 

Andrew snorted. “Kevin, your single minded focus on exy is really getting old. I know it’s sort of your thing, but it’s obnoxious.” 

Kevin gaped. “Excuse me, but we’re talking about your relationship with Neil, not me.”

“Yeah, yeah, Neil needs to focus on exy. Neil’s his own person, Day. He does what he wants.”

“Well, he shouldn’t!” Kevin spluttered. “Exy-”

“Kevin,” Neil snapped, coming to stand beside Kevin with two red solo cups in his hands. “Shut up. Leave us alone so I can make out with my boyfriend.” 

Kevin reacted like he’d been shot, jerking to motion and rushing out of the room. 

“No kissing, remember?” Andrew ground out, although he was really regretting the rule at the moment. 

“Don’t worry, I remember. I just had to get Kevin to shut up.” 

Neil handed one of the cups to Andrew, and Andrew took a swig, desperate for a distraction from the thought of making out with Neil. Instead, he found himself gagging on whatever poison Neil had put in his cup. 

“What,” he gasped. “The fuck… is that?” 

“Kombucha,” Neil said. “You’re driving, remember? And I don’t drink. So kombucha for the both of us.” 

“Our fake relationship is over,” Andrew deadpanned. 

Neil laughed, leaning more into Andrew’s space. Andrew’s heart was racing, but it was probably just from the poison Neil had given him. 

“Hey,” Neil said. “Let’s go greet the host. As long as she’s not making out with Seth.” Neil made a face. Clearly he didn’t think much of Allison’s boyfriend. 

Allison was not, in fact, making out with Seth. Instead, she was screaming at him. Neil’s body was tense, ready for flight, it seemed, but Allison spotted him before he could run. 

“Neil,” she crooned. She placed a hand on his arm, sliding it downwards. Andrew’s eyebrows shot up. “Tell Seth to leave me alone.” 

“Stay out of this, fuckwad,” Seth spat at Neil.

Allison cozied up to Neil’s side, clearly unaware of Andrew’s presence behind him. “You would never treat me that way, right, Neil?” 

“Um,” Neil stuttered, clearly uncomfortable. 

Andrew had had enough. It was obvious Allison wasn’t actually interested in Neil, but he had a pretty enough face to make Seth jealous, and Allison wasn’t afraid of using him to get what she wanted. 

Damn, Andrew thought, she was a hell of a slytherin. 

Andrew grabbed Allison by the arm and pried her off of Neil. “Keep your hands to yourself, Reynolds. Neil doesn’t want them.” To drive the point home, he slid his hand to the small of Neil’s back, pulling Neil closer to him. Andrew could see Neil’s smug grin out of the corner of his eye. 

“Uh, you two are together?” Seth asked, incredulous. “Allison, I told you Neil was a f-” 

“Finish that sentence, jackass, and it’ll be your last,” Andrew cut in. 

Allison seemed to get the point, and she tugged Seth’s sleeve. “Come on, Seth. It’s not worth it.” 

Seth gave in, following Allison to a secluded area of the house, and Andrew was left keenly aware of how close Neil was. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Andrew said, breaking the contact. “I’m bored.” 

\---

Andrew was shoveling as much of Sweetie’s ice cream into his mouth as he could, and Neil was watching him with a faintly amused smile on his lips. Andrew wanted to kiss it off of him. 

In a friend way. Or, he supposed, a fake relationship way. 

“So,” Neil started. “I always wondered why you and Roland never actually dated.”

Andrew barely glanced up from his sundae. “Love and dating isn’t really my thing,” Andrew mumbled around a mouthful of ice cream. 

“But writing love letters to your crush from eighth grade is?”

Andrew narrowed his eyes. “That’s different.” 

“How so?”

Andrew set down his spoon. “That’s a coping mechanism that my therapist told me to do. And it’s not real. I’d rather admire from afar than let anyone actually in.” 

Neil considered that for a moment. “Why not?” 

Andrew let the silence between them stretch out before he said, “The more people you actually let in, the more people can tear you apart.”

Neil frowned. “So you’re afraid?”

“When you’ve experienced it before, it’s hard to not be wary of it.” Andrew purposely avoided saying that he was afraid. Because he wasn’t. Andrew didn’t fear anything. Except maybe the way his heart palpitated when Neil smiled at him. He should really talk to a doctor about that. Heart issues weren’t a thing to let get out of hand.

“But you’re not afraid of this,” Neil said quietly. 

“There is no this.” 

Neil laughed a little, finally breaking eye contact. “Right. Of course.” He stood up suddenly, and Andrew frowned. “Hey, it’s getting late. Could you take me home?” 

Andrew didn’t know what he had done wrong, but he wasn’t stupid enough to think that Neil was fine. 

“Yeah. Of course.”

\---

Andrew’s phone buzzed with a notification.

“@jos10_striker tagged you in a post”

He unlocked his phone and squinted against the sudden brightness. 

Neil had posted a picture of the two of them. Andrew had his arm around Neil and was turned to face him, smirking. Neil was smiling brightly with his eyes shut. 

He read the caption. 

“jos10_striker: With the bae @the.angry.minyard. He actually can smile!”

If Andrew smiled when he read it, what harm was that? None of it was real anyways. It was just fun to pretend. He typed out a response and shut off his phone, determined to push the image of those blue eyes from his mind. 

“the.angry.minyard: you’re the only one i smile at junkie”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family dinners bring up their pasts.  
> Andrew and Neil have a talk in Neil's bedroom.   
> Andrew keeps his promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> I almost wasn't going to put out a chapter today bc I'm exhausted, but I couldn't resist.   
> Also, fun story, I rang up someone at work today (I work at a grocery store) who was buying apples and wanted me to only ring her up for three apples because she was worried they would be "too sweet". They were granny smith apples. I felt like I met Neil Josten?? Like who else would complain about fucking green apples being too sweet??   
> Anywayyysss, enjoy the chapter! I'm hoping to double update tomorrow, so be on the lookout for that!   
> Thanks for reading!

Being with Neil felt so easy that Andrew liked to pretend it was real. Neil’s teammates grew more used to Andrew being around. Andrew went to Neil’s exy games with Nicky. Nicky wouldn’t shut up about how much he missed his time on the team, and he had once slipped up and mentioned that Andrew used to play when Neil was around. Neil had latched onto it, of course, and it seemed that every day he was trying to convince Andrew to try out. 

Andrew refused. 

He hated exy.

Nicky loved Neil. He screamed the loudest for him at his games, cheering enough to make up for Andrew’s silence. Nicky was happy that Andrew finally had someone, it seemed. Andrew worried how heartbroken Nicky would be when the “relationship” finally came to an end. 

He almost wished they hadn’t had to get family involved at all. Nicky kept inviting Neil over to their “family dinners”. Typically Aaron would leave halfway through, and Nicky would give an excuse about how much homework he probably had. At one point, Nicky, ever the observant, made a comment about how proud Neil’s mother must be. 

Neil had never spoken about his parents before, and it became clear why when he said, “She’s dead.” 

Nicky floundered for a response, his mouth gaping. 

Neil quickly changed the subject, telling Nicky how good the food was, but Andrew couldn’t help but notice the strain in his voice that hadn’t been there before. 

Afterwards, Andrew sent Nicky upstairs to skype with Erik, telling him that he and Neil would clean up. They worked in silence for a bit, Andrew cleaning the plates and handing them to Neil to put in the dishwasher. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Andrew finally asked, breaking the silence. 

Neil didn’t ask him to clarify what he was referring to. They both knew. “I don’t know,” he said, quietly. 

Andrew watched him for a second. He was staring at the ground, biting his lip. 

“Did you know I was in the foster system?” Andrew asked. 

Neil looked up, startled. “No.”

Andrew nodded. “When my mother had me and Aaron, she decided she didn’t want both of us. So I was the one to go.” 

“So…” Neil started. “How did you end up with Nicky?”

“Well, Aaron found me first. My mother finally decided to take me back, but she died in a car accident. Nicky took us in as soon as he could.” 

Neil frowned. “I’m sorry your mom died.” 

“Don’t be. She was a piece of shit.” 

Neil hummed. “My dad murdered my mom. He was executed in prison. Turns out he was a part of a lot of mob shit. So my uncle Stuart took me in.”

Andrew had never heard of an uncle Stuart before. In fact, Neil had never mentioned anything about his home before. For all Andrew knew, he didn’t have one. 

“Is he good to you?” Andrew asked. 

“Yeah,” Neil said. “I think he’s a little overwhelmed. But he’s good. He’s doing his best.” Neil smiled shyly at Andrew. “He wants to meet you.” 

So Neil had mentioned his “boyfriend” to his uncle. Interesting. 

It wasn’t long before Andrew did meet Stuart. They got along plenty well, but it took Andrew a while to get over the fact that he spoke with a thick British accent. 

“So,” Andrew said to Neil later in his bedroom (yes, his bedroom; Andrew was shook too). “You’re telling me that you used to have a British accent as well? And that you would still if you hadn’t learned how to speak without it?”

“Yes?” Neil said, confused. 

“Good lord,” Andrew muttered. “No one would be able to even speak to you without fainting if you still had an accent.” 

Neil flushed. “That’s not true.” 

“Neil.” Andrew glared at him. “You’re the hottest guy at school. Everyone knows that.” 

“Shut up,” Neil muttered, his cheeks a bright red to match his hair. 

Andrew smirked. It was nice to see that Neil wasn’t immune to everything. 

Neil took a deep breath. “Anyways. You know the team has an away game in Columbia next week, yeah?”

“Yes?” Andrew said, confused where this was going. 

Neil bit his lip. “You’re coming, right?” 

Andrew made a face. “I don’t know. That’s sorta far. And I don’t actually care about exy.” 

“Drrrewwww,” Neil whined. 

He was unbelievable. 

“It’s one game,” Andrew huffed. “Why does it matter?” 

Neil raised an eyebrow. “Do you not know about the Columbia game tradition?”

“No, dipshit. I obviously don’t.” 

Neil flushed again. 

He was a blusher, Andrew had discovered. 

It was adorable. 

“Well, it’s pretty simple actually. Everyone spends the weekend in Columbia after the game. People go clubbing and stuff. There’s a place there that never asks for ID.” 

“That’s it?” Andrew asked, not at all convinced. 

“You see,” Neil started and stopped. He wasn’t meeting Andrew’s eyes. “The Columbia trip is sort of renowned for hookups.”

Ah. That made more sense. 

“And if I show up alone, what’ll stop someone from making a move or questioning our relationship.” 

“Mhm,” Andrew hummed. 

“Please, Drew.” 

“Don’t say that word,” Andrew snapped. “In fact, don’t call me Drew either.”

Neil’s eyes were pleading. “You promised.” 

Andrew rolled his eyes. “Fine, drama queen. I’ll go.” 

Neil jumped up suddenly, smiling and holding out his arms. Before he moved closer, though, he said, “I want to hug you. Yes or no?”

Andrew couldn’t believe this kid. “Fine.” 

The hug was nice. Neil smelled nice, like cinnamon. Andrew may have closed his eyes and enjoyed the hug a bit more than he should’ve, but why not? They would have to call off the relationship soon enough anyways. So Andrew should enjoy it while it lasted.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew and Roland finally talk.   
> Neil gets... jealous?

"You’ve been ignoring me,” Roland said. 

They were in English class, and the teacher had paired the two of them together for partner work. Neil was a table away, and Andrew could tell that he was listening in by the way he had his shoulders hunched. 

“I don’t need to explain myself to you,” Andrew said, rolling his eyes. 

Roland raised an eyebrow. “I mean, you don’t have to, but it would be nice if you at least acknowledged me.” 

Andrew snorted. “You have a boyfriend to do that for you.”

“Is this about him? Listen, I’m sorry I sort of ended our thing out of nowhere to date him, but it wasn’t that serious. I mean, you clearly agree, since you’ve got Josten.” He paused. “Also, Josten? Really?” 

Neil was definitely listening now. 

“What about him?” Andrew’s voice was low. If Roland was smart, he’d change the subject. 

He shrugged. “He’s a jock. Doesn’t seem like your type.” 

Andrew rolled his eyes. “Like your boyfriend is any better. He seems to want to kill me.” 

Roland’s eyes flickered away. “Well, that may be because of that letter you sent me.” 

Andrew stilled. “You showed him that?” 

“He found it.” 

He laughed. “So you’re dating someone who doesn’t understand privacy.” 

“I was. We broke up.” 

Now that was interesting, and by the way Neil tensed out of the corner of his eye, he clearly thought the same thing. 

“But that’s not the point,” he said before Andrew could respond. “Did you mean it? What you said in the letter?” 

Andrew sighed. Time for honesty. “When I wrote it. That was a while ago.”

“And now?” 

“Stop the chatter,” the teacher said as he walked past. “Get back to work. 

\---

“I heard what Roland said,” Neil told Andrew after English. 

“I’m aware of that.” Andrew tried to walk past, but Neil grabbed his arm. At the look Andrew shot him, he let go, but Andrew stopped walking. 

“Are you going to break this off? You and me?” 

Andrew narrowed his eyes. “Why are you asking?” 

Neil shrugged. “Roland’s free again. Maybe you want him instead. You know, for something real. You deserve something real.” 

“Why do you care?” 

Neil had a wounded look in his eyes. “I care about you, Drew.”

“You shouldn’t.” Andrew pushed past him. “And, just for the record, I don’t want Roland.”

“What do you want?” Neil called after him.

“Nothing.” 

\---

The school rented out six buses for the trip to Columbia. Andrew had followed Renee to one, and it just happened to be the bus that Neil was standing outside of. He smiled shyly when he saw Andrew. Andrew had kind of been ignoring him since their talk outside of English. 

“I’m really happy you’re coming with, Andrew,” he said when they were close enough. 

Andrew hummed. “But you’d rather I be doing something with Roland, right, Neil?” He knew he was being dumb and bitter, but he couldn’t help himself. Renee shot him a concerned look but said nothing. 

Neil frowned, but Andrew ignored him, instead following Renee onto the bus. Andrew ignored his attempts to talk to him and sat with Renee in the back of the bus, watching as took his own seat alone, shooting him another frown. 

“What’s wrong?” Renee demanded. 

“Josten and I are having marital problems,” Andrew said blandly. 

She sighed. “If you want to talk about it seriously sometime during this car ride, let me know.” 

He didn’t let her know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! This is sorta a short transition between the last chapter and the next one.   
> Chapter seven will either be up late tonight or early tomorrow. I had a weird day that didn't allow for much writing, but coming up next is the exy trip! Are you guys excited??? I'm excited. I went to my first football game of senior year today and was sorta struck with inspiration for the next chapter so watch out for that!   
> This chapter is a little disjointed but I hope you still enjoy it :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Columbia exy game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

They all checked into the same hotel. Allison was apparently put in charge of assigning rooms. Who put her in charge of that, Andrew didn’t know. But she was clearly having a fun time, playing matchmaker with who she paired together in a room. 

When she approached Neil and Andrew, she grinned and handed them a single key. “Go wild,” she said, stepping away with a wink. 

Andrew walked straight to their room, Neil trailing along behind him. The room was average sized, with one queen bed in the middle. 

Oh.

There was only one bed. 

Honestly, Andrew didn’t know what he was expecting. 

Andrew placed his bag on the bed and collapsed beside it, closing his eyes. Neil broke the silence. 

“Why are you upset with me?”

Andrew could practically hear the frown in his voice. “I don’t like it when people think they know what’s best for me,” he said without opening his eyes. 

Neil was quiet for long enough that Andrew opened his eyes and tilted his head up. “What?” he asked. Something was clearly up with the way Neil’s eyes were unfocused and he was biting his lip. 

“It’s just,” he started. He seemed to be grasping for the right words. “I don’t know. Roland talking to you like that made me feel… weird.” He sat down on the bed with a sigh. “I can’t explain it.” 

“Okay,” Andrew said slowly, unsure what he meant. 

Neil groaned, popping off the bed and grabbing his bag. “I’m gonna head out to meet with my team. You’re coming to the game, right?” When Andrew nodded, he sent him a quick smile and shot out the door. 

Well. That was different. 

\---

The exy game was packed, and Andrew was alone. Nicky, his usual exy partner, couldn’t get the night off work. But Andrew had promised he would watch the game, and he didn’t let a little social anxiety get in his way. He stood at the front of the bleachers with the rest of the seniors, but a little off to the side. They left him alone for the most part, and he was able to appreciate the game. 

The foxes took the lead, with Neil and Kevin both scoring three points each. Renee was holding the goal well, and overall the team was working together. It was impressive, considering they were foxes. Palmetto wasn’t known for its cooperation. 

Halftime came quickly, and with it came the seniors pulling out their whiteboard. It was time for the kiss cam. Andrew had seen this at the other games as well, but he was never bothered since he was with Nicky. 

To be brutally honest, Andrew hated the kiss cam. It was peer pressure at its finest, with kids literally dragging others together to force them to kiss. Just being a bystander to it made him feel gross, so he tried to block it out and watch the foxes’ huddle around Coach Wymack. The halftime show started, with the home team’s marching band playing. 

Eventually, the foxes’ huddle broke, and Andrew looked on with interest as a familiar red head of hair starting walking towards the bleachers. The bleachers were at ground level, so when Neil reached him, only a fence separated them. 

“Hey,” he said, smiling a little. 

“How does your coach feel about this?” Andrew kept his tone level and definitely not breathless at how Neil looked. His cheeks were red from running and his hair was beautifully curly. 

“Wymack can deal,” Neil said. “How are you?” 

Before Andrew could respond, he heard a commotion from behind him. When he turned to look, he noticed the seniors were holding up the whiteboard, clearly with two new victims’ names on it, and the crowd was going wild. The senior that had apparently been put in charge of it all turned to Andrew with a predatory smile. He could finally read what was on the whiteboard. 

“andrew m and neil j”

Unbelievable. Andrew had never been popular enough before to be targeted by the kiss cam, but apparently dating Neil Josten made you a notable figure. 

Andrew turned back to Neil, willing his expression to remain neutral. Neil was flushed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“Kiss, kiss, kiss,” came the chant of the crowd. Andrew knew that if they didn’t do it, next would come a chorus of teenagers shouting “pussy” at them. Ah, high school. What a truly beautiful experience. 

“Do it,” Andrew whispered, too quiet for the others to hear. 

Neil met his eyes straight on. “Are you sure? Is that okay?” 

Andrew’s heart was racing at the prospect of kissing Neil Josten again. “Yes, Neil. It’s more than okay.” 

Neil’s eyes widened at that, but he leaned in. Their lips met to the sound of teenagers screaming joyfully. It was a relatively innocent kiss, but sweetly so. They kissed for longer than necessary, Andrew’s hand going to rest on the back of Neil’s head. 

With this being the third kiss the two of them had shared, Andrew had become fairly certain of one thing: Neil Josten had never kissed anyone before Andrew. He was hesitant in his kissing, almost uncertain, and Andrew always had to take the lead. It wasn’t a bad thing. Just an interesting one. 

Okay, maybe they were kissing for too long. The screams turned into hoots and hollers, and Andrew finally pulled back, done with being used for entertainment. 

Neil was a stunning sight, smiling shyly at Andrew with red cheeks. “Everyone’s planning on going to Eden’s Twilight tonight,” he said. “They never check ID. Will you meet me there?” 

Andrew nodded. “Yeah, Neil. I’ll be waiting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, this wasn't in the movie at all, but I couldn't help myself. I was watching the kiss cam at the football game last night, half disgusted by it, and half thinking, "imagine Andreil". So this happened. I hope you guys liked it and it didn't seem too ooc for either of them??   
> Next time is Eden's, and I wonder what will go down there??? Hmmm ;)  
> Thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eden's Twilight.

Eden’s was loud and Andrew was lost. Not physically, of course, but mentally. This was exactly why he put into place the no kissing rule in the first place. Neil was genuinely one of the most attractive men Andrew had ever seen. Andrew considered himself to be a man of great self control, but being around Neil and trying to hide his feelings was excruciating. Not to mention that his comment before the kiss that day had practically outed him. 

Andrew didn’t know what he was doing. 

Neil had found him in Eden’s with a grin, but when Andrew seemed uninterested and only gave one word responses, Neil had excused himself to go dance with his teammates. Andrew pretended not to see the confused and hurt look in his eyes. 

Somehow, Andrew had found himself with Kevin, who was halfway to being wasted. Kevin, he had learned, was a budding alcoholic. Kevin looked miserable, and Andrew noticed he kept shooting looks at a kid from the team they had won against that day. 

Interesting. 

“What’s his name?” Andrew asked. 

Kevin sent him a long suffering glare and took a shot. “Jeremy Knox.” He went back to gazing longingly at Knox. 

Huh. Maybe Kevin wasn’t as straight as everyone thought. 

Kevin clearly didn’t want to talk about it, so Andrew joined him in taking shots. 

“So,” Kevin started, yanking his eyes away from the golden haired boy. “What’s up with you and Neil?” 

Andrew stilled. “What do you mean?” 

He shrugged. “I don’t know, man. It just seems like you’ve been distancing yourself from Neil.”

Andrew desperately craved an outlet like his letters, and maybe drunk Kevin could be that for him. 

“I think I’m more into Neil than he’s into me.” It wasn’t quite the truth, but it was close enough. Andrew didn’t feel like explaining the whole “fake dating” thing. 

Kevin snorts. “Are you kidding me?”

“What.”

“Andrew, buddy.” He paused to down some vodka. “Neil’s crazy for you. Anytime you’re near, it’s like he’s a whole new person. It’s like he’s, I don’t know… Like he’s actually happy. I don’t think he was happy before he started dating you. And, oh my god, after you guys kissed at the game today? Neil was playing like his life was on the line. I’ve never seen him smile so much before. Honestly, man, I think he’s in love with you.” 

Oh. That was new. 

Andrew’s eyes drifted to the dance floor, and, surprisingly, he caught Neil staring at him. Neil quickly looked away, instead going to talk to Matt. Matt glanced at Andrew, confusion in his eyes. 

Kevin nudged him, startling him a little. “Go talk to him. Be honest with him.” 

Shockingly, Andrew took Kevin’s advice. He found himself walking towards that red head of hair like a moth to a flame. Matt had notified Neil of Andrew’s approach, because he turned to face him, his face guarded like it wasn’t usually. 

“Can we talk?” Andrew asked once he was close enough. 

Neil crossed his arms. “You wanna talk? In the middle of a nightclub?” 

Andrew rolled his eyes. “Just follow me or don’t. Your decision, Josten.” 

He chose to follow Andrew. 

Andrew led him to the back of the club, testing doors until he found one that was unlocked. It was small, seemingly a storage closet. The light was dim, and Andrew closed the door after Neil. It was far quieter than the rest of the club, and they didn’t have to shout to hear each other. It was a far better atmosphere to have an important conversation in. 

“What do you want?” Neil mumbled, refusing to make eye contact. 

“Neil.” 

“What,” he snapped. 

“Look at me.” The “please” went unspoken.

Slowly, those blue eyes crept up to Andrew’s. They looked… sad. God, what had Andrew done to him? 

“Neil, this… It’s become a problem.” 

“I thought there was no ‘this’. I thought you hated me.” His voice was hollow. 

Andrew took a breath. “That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you.” 

Jesus, he really was dramatic, wasn’t he? 

Neil looked like he was about to have a heart attack. 

“You like me.” 

Andrew took a moment. He closed his eyes. He nodded. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

Andrew’s eyes shot open at that. Neil’s gaze was latched onto Andrew’s lips. He was being serious. 

“Yes,” Andrew breathed. 

Neil took a step forward, leaning down slightly, and kissed him. It was different this time. Every other time, it was like a performance, trying to prove something to other people. But they were alone. The only person they were trying to prove something to was the other. 

It was… nice. It was soft. 

Andrew wasn’t used to soft. When he and Roland met up in the bathroom, it was all hot breaths and wandering hands, just trying to release some tension. 

But Neil’s lips were so sweet, his hands hovering at his sides as if he didn’t know where to put them. He probably didn’t. Andrew decided for him. He grabbed his wrists and led him to the small of Andrew’s back. He parted just enough to say, “Just here,” before pushing Neil forward and into the wall. His arms came to rest on the wall, at either side of Neil. Neil made a soft sound at that. Andrew wanted to lure as many of those sounds out of Neil as he could. 

“Where can I touch you?” he whispered against his lips.

“Anywhere you want.” 

Andrew made an encouraging sound in his throat at that, surging forward once more and pressing Neil further against the wall. He slid his hands up Neil’s shirt, hesitating when he felt raised skin that could only mean scars. And lots of them at that. Neil pulled back when he felt Andrew pause. 

“They’re from my father.” 

Andrew felt a rage building in the pit of his stomach, but he pushed it down. He didn’t want to scare away Neil. Instead, he retracted one of his hands to roll up his sleeve, revealing his own scars. 

The origin of his were obvious, and by the way Neil stayed silent, he knew it as well. 

“I guess we’re both fucked up,” Andrew said. 

Neil’s lips quirked up. “That’s why we work so well.” He tugged on Andrew’s collar, pulling him in again. “Now shut up and kiss me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew and Neil return to Palmetto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So there's not much of this story left, and my goal is to finish it today since I start school tomorrow. We'll see if I succeed at that, though :) In the meanwhile, enjoy the chapter! *warning, some angst is incoming*

Andrew came to their room halfway through the night to find Neil already asleep. He had been in Roland’s room before that, officially ending everything with him. Roland was accepting, thankfully, and Andrew was able to leave in peace. 

Neil slept with his mouth parted, and when Andrew stepped closer, he noticed that he was wearing one of Andrew’s shirts. It was too loose in the shoulders, and it had ridden up on his torso to reveal a few of the scars Andrew had felt before. 

Andrew pulled the blankets further up Neil’s body and slid in beside him, his back to the wall. Andrew wasn’t usually one to enjoy sharing a bed with another, but he trusted Neil. Neil was different. Neil never did anything without asking. He respected Andrew’s boundaries. 

And with that thought, Andrew drifted asleep to the soft sound of Neil’s even breathing.

\---

The morning had been interesting, as Neil and Andrew had woken up in each other’s arms. They had both jerked away, and an awkward silence had ensued until Neil stuttered, “I’m gonna go shower.” 

They had a couple hours until they needed to be back on the bus, and they spent a good amount of that time making out. It was pleasant. Neil seemed to be slowly catching on to what Andrew liked, searching out everything that sent a thrill through Andrew’s body. 

When they got on the bus, a cheer went out. Allison was sitting next to Renee, (apparently her and Seth were fighting again) and she gave Neil a high five as they passed. 

“What just happened?” Andrew muttered. 

“They do that to all the couple who go on the trip,” Neil explained. 

Andrew rolled his eyes. “I hate teenagers.” 

“Don’t we all.” 

The rest of the bus ride was uneventful. Neil fell asleep at one point, his head going to rest on Andrew’s shoulder and quiet snores escaping from his lips. If it was anyone else, Andrew would’ve shoved them into the aisle. 

Once back at Palmetto, Andrew went to grab their bags alone. When he got back to Neil, he had a frown on his face. 

“Are you okay?” Andrew asked. 

“Did you spend the night in Roland’s room?”

Oh. 

“Who told you that?” 

“Jack.” 

Andrew sneered. “Roland’s ex?” 

Neil narrowed his eyes. “Yeah, so what? Why the hell were you in Roland’s room in the first place.” 

Andrew schooled his face into a neutral expression. He didn’t like being accused of things he didn’t do. “It’s not what you think, Neil,” was all he said. 

“I can’t believe you, Andrew. You know I’m new to all this.” 

“Neil-”

“No,” he interrupted. He grabbed his bag and stalked away. “Leave me alone.” 

Andrew was alone. Again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A video comes out.

Andrew was laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, when his phone buzzed. His hand shot out to grab it, hope in the back of his mind that it was Neil. 

It was from Renee. 

Renee Walker: andrew, someone posted a video of you and neil on youtube.

A link was attached. 

Andrew, ever the masochist, clicked on the video, and his screen filled with the image of him and Neil in the back room at Eden’s. He heard himself asking where he could touch Neil, and Neil’s response was faint but clear as to what he said. He heard the noises they both made and watched as they revealed their scars to one another. Andrew’s heart ached. 

The video went on for another minute, Andrew’s hands hidden from view and Neil making soft noises. Andrew read the description.

“andrew minyard and neil josten have sex in a storage closet”

Considering who had tried to ruin their relationship after the exy trip, Andrew had a strong feeling as to who was responsible. 

\---

Andrew saw Neil at his locker and headed straight for him. Except, he could immediately tell something was wrong. Neil was standing still, staring at his locker, and it became clear why when he got closer. A picture of the two of them in Eden’s was taped onto his locker, with Neil’s face circled and “whore” written across it. 

“I’m going to kill him,” Andrew growled. 

Neil jumped when he heard Andrew. “Who?” His voice was hollow. 

“Jack. He did this.” 

“What did I do?” Speak of the devil. 

Andrew glared at Jack. “You’re a fucking asshole, you know that?” 

“At least I didn’t write a love letter to someone else’s boyfriend.” 

“Oh, fuck off,” came Neil’s voice from behind Andrew. “That was Andrew’s business. It’s not his fault that it got out. What, do you blame him for the failure of your relationship? Newsflash, asshole, but no one wants to date someone who posts videos of people’s private lives without their consent.” 

Jack flushed with anger. “Don’t forget that Andrew spent the night in Roland’s room just hours after that video was taken.” 

“That’s not the point right now, you dick. We’re talking about you. Andrew can answer for that later.” 

Andrew had had enough. He walked forward, pushing Jack’s chest. “Take down the video.” 

“No.” Jack seemed quite pleased with himself, a smirk on his face until Andrew punched it off. Jack was weaker than he looked. He went straight down, and there was only a slight stinging in Andrew’s knuckles. 

“Take it down,” he said again, his foot gearing back, preparing to kick him. 

“Okay,” Jack gasped. 

That was all Andrew needed. He walked out, heading to his car. He was done for the day.

“Wait,” Neil called. 

Andrew slowed, allowing Neil to catch up. 

“Just for your information, Neil,” he said without turning. “I didn’t do anything with Roland. I was in his room to officially break things off with him. I didn’t want Roland. I wanted you.” 

Neil was quiet. “Wanted, or still want?” 

“I can’t deal with this right now, Neil.”

And with that, he walked out. Neil didn’t call out to him again.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew has a good Thanksgiving.

“Where’s Neil?” Aaron asked, his tone forcibly casual. 

“None of your business,” Andrew snapped. 

Aaron raised his eyebrows. “Got it.” He grabbed a cookie from the rack that Andrew was staring at like a madman before leaving the kitchen. 

Andrew and Neil hadn’t spoken for a few weeks. They were both too stubborn to approach the other. Matt had attempted to talk to Andrew once, but he’d given up when Andrew refused to respond. 

He was lonely. He wasn’t afraid to admit that to himself. He’d gotten used to always having Neil at his side. Now it was back to being the school loner, with only Renee for company. 

It was Thanksgiving break, and Erik was visiting from Germany, meaning Nicky couldn’t focus on anything other than Erik. He had yet to notice Neil’s absence, so thankfully Andrew didn’t have to explain it to him yet. 

Thanksgiving dinner was only mildly painful. Erik and Nicky kept eyeing each other. Aaron was watching them with an only slightly hidden look of disgust. Andrew had skipped dinner and gone straight to pie without Nicky noticing. He was on his third slice of pumpkin pie when the doorbell rang. 

“Nicky has it,” Andrew blurted before anyone else could say anything. 

“Why are you like this?” Aaron muttered, but Nicky got up with only one groan and opened the door.

At the sound of joy that Nicky made, Andrew knew he’d made a mistake. “Andrew! You didn’t tell me your boyfriend was coming!” 

Andrew shook the table when he stood, heading straight for the door. He shoved Nicky out of the way and stepped out, closing the door behind him. He ignored Nicky shouting that he’ll save a plate for Neil. 

“What?” Andrew asked, his voice flat. 

Neil bit his lip, avoiding eye contact. 

“Spit it out, Josten.” 

He did. “I miss you.” 

That was unexpected. Neil Josten was being honest? What universe was Andrew living in?

Although, since it was apparently honesty hour… 

“I miss you too.” 

Neil looked up, his eyes hopeful. 

“Do you wanna come inside?” Andrew asked quietly.

Neil nodded. “I’d like that a lot, Drew.” 

Andrew held out his hand. Slowly, Neil stepped closer to him and slid his fingers between Andrew’s. 

“Yes or no,” Andrew asked. 

Without a pause, “Yes.” 

Kissing Neil was like riding a bike (weird metaphor but just stick with me). It was startling the first few times, but it soon felt natural. Even after taking a break from it, it took no time to get used to it again. 

Without Neil, Andrew wasn’t truly living. Who knew that all it took to be happy was a red head with a loud mouth. 

Neil pulled back and looked into his eyes. 

“You taste like pumpkin pie.” 

Andrew snorted. “That wasn’t what I was expecting you to say at all.” 

“I live to be unpredictable,” Neil whispered against his lips. 

Andrew grabbed one of his lips between his teeth, tugging on it and watching as Neil flushed. “Well, Mr. Unpredictable, why don’t you come inside so we can gross out Aaron even more than he already is by Erik and Nicky.” 

“Oh my god. You’re incredible.” 

Who knew that when Andrew wrote a lovesick letter in the eighth grade about a boy he kissed in spin the bottle that it would lead to this. Who knew that a jock like Neil would ever fall for a wannabe emo kid. 

Did Andrew need Neil in his life?

No. Andrew didn’t need anyone.

But had life improved a hell of a lot since Neil walked his cute ass into it?

Absolutely. 

Neil may have been a junkie for exy, but Andrew was a junkie for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all, folks!  
> Honestly this was so much fun. The response this fic has gotten has blown me away, and I just want to say how thankful I am to everyone who even gave this fic the time of day. Every comment gave me the confidence to continue, and it wouldn't have happened without everyone who read it!  
> Endings are sad, and this one is no different.  
> I'm sure I'll be back sometime soon to post another fic, but if you want to keep up with me until then, follow my [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/risksofreading).  
> Thanks again!


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